i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land
Today my history professor, a rumpled, pot-bellied guy in his mid thirties, walked into class looking all excited, which made the rest of us nervous, because he’s known for pop quizzes. He took a deep breath and said, “I have been waiting for this moment my entire teaching career. So please, pull out your textbooks and…” in a British accent, glowering at us all ferociously, “TURN TO PAGE THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR.”
We. All. DIED.
I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS.
Hey Johnny, I have this new mov-...
do u ever listen to a song and u like forget ur listening to it and when it’s almost over ur just like what
and then u repeat the song but then it happens again
“money can’t buy happiness” is like the biggest lie ever do you know how happy i’d be if i was rich
(Source: hungarian, via danyandherdragons)
true friendship is bullying your friends into watching the tv shows you watch